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Skip Lackey
lacking everything that makes a good host

Host: Think Fast (1990-1991)
Last Week on Game Show Garbage,
I inducted Robb Edward Morris due to him being completely uninterested,
both physically, and verbally about his show. Now, let's take a
look at the partner show of Make The Grade, Think Fast. While Make
The Grade had a good format first season, great set and good host in Lew
Schneider; Think Fast was somewhat lacking in those aspects. While
the format was somewhat decent and the set was too small for what they
wanted to do, at least Michael Carrington was adept enough to handle
it...some of the time. But hey, at least he kept his composure on
screen and knew what was going on...some of the time.
Ok, I admit that the show some
of the time was train-wreck worthy, but if that first season was a
train-wreck to watch some times, then watching the 1990 episodes would
be watching a natural disaster. The set got way, way, way too big
for what it needed to do, the format didn't change much but introduced
more games to be played, most of them just variations that they have
been doing earlier, and they got a host that was the polar opposite of
Michael Carrington. Instead of being, calmer, cooler and actually
could pay attention to something for more than 5 seconds, they got a
host who was way too hyper for this sort of show, sounded like he was on
edge, and had to ask who won almost every single game, even when the
display on the podium said who won and who didn't. Ladies and
gentlemen, Skip Lackey.

Skip, like Robb was, was an
actor before he got the hosting gig for Think Fast. But instead of
being in a movie about a genetic mutated baboon, Skip starred as Jim
Carrey's friend in the 1985 Vampire Comedy, Once Bitten, where he spent
most of the movie wondering whether his other friend and him are gay and
should sleep with each other when they should have been worrying about
his friend being seduced by Lauren Hutton playing a female, sexed up
version of Count Dracula horribly. He also wrote & starred in a
1987 made for TV movie called Invasion of the Mind Benders where he
played a loud obnoxious school DJ, trying to save his classmates from
having their brains molded into Jell-o by some evil psychopathic doctor.
Needless to say that this movie was a total trainwreck. From the
acting, to the lighting, to the cheap, even for made for TV effect to
the script was pure drek. So, he can't act, he can't write, but
could he host?

Every episode, Skip Lackey comes
out of these double doors and does a double fist pump or something to
that effect. I'm guessing he does that because he's just excited.
He always follows that up with the line, "Welcome everybody to Think
Fast. How are we all doing out there? LET'S HEAR IT!!!!
YEAH!!!!!" It sounds very desperate for attention and it's made
worse by his mannerisms coming out of the big doors. I think
here's a good place to bring up that during one episode where he was
introduced as being one hell of a dancer, he came out, banging his head,
and ran to the contestants and proceeded to slap his own posterior, like
he was riding the pony or something that effect. I would have a
picture to show that effect, but I haven't to track down said picture
since my initial seeing of this episode 7 years ago on Nick GAS.
If that's how you make your entrance, then it's just pathetic rather than
endearing or entertaining or normal for that matter.

It gets much worse when he
actually starts talking to the contestants. I mean, he shows very
little personality besides just being loud. I doubt the
contestants even care about him anyways. I'm also under the
impression that he didn't care about the contestants at all, mainly by
giving standard answers like "cool or awesome or terrific". It's
just hurting my brain that someone can be so hyper about a mediocre show
without the use of recreational drugs or 10 gallons of Mountain Dew like
other hosts.

I guess I should talk about his explaining of the
events. And boy, do we get into some serious trouble here.
He spends most of the time looking at his cards that he holds all of the
time. I'm under the assumption that without those cards, he'd be
stumbling and bumbling more than Robb Edward Morris was explaining the
fire drills. Skip would spend his time reading the cards and just
act stupid and whatnot. He seems to have no clue on what to do
without the help of his precious 3x5s. I would have a soundbyte of
him explaining, but I don't want to put you through that type of torture
after last week.

During the stunts, he seems to give his
descriptions like he's a director, rather than that of a host.
More often than not, when the stunts don't involve him reading questions
or they're not playing Paint Catcher or something to that effect, he'll
call what's going on one side, then say "Let's go to the Blue Team."
Or he'll say, "Let's check out the Gold Team." He also has
problems basically explaining what's going on with the stunts.
After the stunts, he's supposed to know the results right then and
there, unless it's close. But, with him being the poster child of
ADD, he more often than not has to ask the judges for the results, even
if it's as plain as day.

For example, take a look at the end result from
this playing of "Leaning Tower of Things." He had to go to the
judges after this end result, when it's as plain as day. How
stupid do you have to be to not see that Gold's tower is bigger than
Blue's tower. How can someone with so much energy be someone that
is so lazy? For my sanity
and yours, I'm going to skip the brain bender, because that was
something that he couldn't screw up.

So now we're at the locker room and while yes,
it's supposed to be hectic, Skip couldn't control it. All he said
during the locker room was "FIND THE MATE, FIND THE MATE. YES,
LOCK IT UP! LOCK IT UP! LOCK IT UP! LOCK IT UP!" I guess that's
all he could do when it came to this. Skip would always be on the
point of orgasm, even when they get their first match. Shouldn't
that be saved for when they win it all?

Afterwards, Skip would awkwardly ask the
contestants if they were tired, yet happy that they won all this stuff,
including cash and prizes. More often than not, he would ask the
question so many times that it just became completely redundant.
He couldn't just do a clean close, congratulating the teams, asking what
they were going to do with all that money? Instead, his hyperness
causes his brain to fritz and he forgets the simplest thing. So,
he'll spend some time bumbling around before giving the ending line,
"When you don't have the time to think twice, then Think Fast."
After the season was over, Nickelodeon thought
really fast and canned Lackey & the show entirely. Lackey would go
on to do mainly nothing for years until 2002 where he wrote, directed
and acted in a German movie called Love At Second Sight. While
that movie didn't go over well anywhere, let alone not having a ranking
at IMDB, he disappeared afterwards, never to be seen or heard from
again...or did he?
The crack research staff here at
Game Show Garbage...well, it's just our webmaster Carl Chenier. He
has found Skip Lackey currently doing a religious themed radio show on
Blogtalkradio & selling his wares on his website.
So, Skip Lackey giving up acting & film & TV for
religion? Wow, guess there is a god after all. |