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Jeopardy! What is...Pathetic overrated pile of crap?
NBC: (September 1964-January
1975 & September 1978-April 1979) Back in the early days of game shows, there was simplicity running around. The most simple format was the quiz show. There were quite a few long running game shows around that time such as Tic Tac Dough and Twenty-One. Now, both were cancelled because they were rigged, but this weeks induction lasted for so long afterwards and nobody knows really why? Well, here's the reason why. It's overrated, and one of the most ill-conceived formats in all of television history, where perfect formats such as The Quiz Kids Challenge & Temptation: The All New Sale of the Century had short runs. I'm of course talking about nobody's favorite answer & question game...Jeopardy.
Let's start with the first host, Art Fleming. Now, although he was a gentlemen, he obviously didn't know what he was doing. I mean, everytime he got on camera, he stumbled and bumbled his way through reading answers among other things. Not only that, he obviously didn't care what he was doing. Odds are he was drunker than Dean Martin doing this show, although he could portray himself as the straightest straight man there is. Now, I'll grant him the distinction of not being the worst of the two that hosted.
It would be this man, Alex Trebek. How someone who's most knowledge-based game was High Rollers get this gig was beyond me. He was obviously so smarmy and pathetic that the only reason he got this gig was to perform some act to the higher ups in order to get this job. Maybe that act was pretend that he was a teenage girl and dance with Harry Friedman. Who knows. He may speak clearer than Fleming, but he sucks. Mainly following the All Canadians Suck rule, there hasn't been a single good Canadian host, ever.
Now, the format. When you watch a quiz show, you expect questions and answers. Not the other way around, it's like reading a dictionary or encyclopedia, except less entertaining. I found shows like The Neighbors or The Magnificent Marble Machine to be more entertaining than this. Pretty much, the rules are that you pick a category and a dollar amount. You are read the answer and then you must buzz in with the question. It's pretty backwards thinking in my eyes. I mean, they should pick the category & Dollar amount. Then you ask them a question, they give the answer. That's how Quiz Show's work. Or at least that's how they should work.
Also hidden on the boards are Daily Doubles, where you can wager some or all of your total. But Daily translates to once a day, and on the show, there are 3. So, the proper name should be either "Chance" or "Wager" or "Waste of precious game time." There's one Daily Double in the first round and 2 in the second round. So, more wasted time to ponder over an ans...I mean Question that the contestant probably doesn't know. This show is just so damned boring that I shouldn't care.
Round 2 is called Double Jeopardy? What a dumb name for a round. It's the same as the first half of the show, but it's just double everything. Which means that my disdain for the show right now has doubled. My boredom for the show has doubled and the smarminess of Trebek & The contestants have probably more than doubled. I bet in order to get into the studio to play the game, you get hooked up to a Smug Meter and if you score off the charts, you get to play the game. If you barely register, then you get nothing except a kick in the butt and maybe a tryout for a lesser game show. Which there are none right now.
The last round is Final Jeopardy, and here's where it hits the fan. It's pretty much everybody playing a daily double. This guy has got to be bored out of his mind right now. I think it's because he'd rather be on Card Sharks 2001 at this time. So, the player that has double their opponent can not even answer the damned question and still win. Why is this flawed logic in place? Why should I even care? Why are they rehashing something that doesn't work? I mean, nothing about this show works. Absolutely nothing about this show works. But you know what, they decided that there isn't enough Jeopardy out there. So, they put together a 5-game winning cap on players until 2004 where they lifted said cap.
Enter Ken Jennings. He went on this show and broke every single record there was on this show. Won 74 consecutive games, won $2,500,000+ & became a celebrity overnight because of this. I swear, there isn't anybody more dweeby and nerdy that could have gotten this honor. He isn't the average man, I want to see the average man win. That would be more fun to see than these mental giants. Give me something that I don't have to use my brain for. I would rather watch Chains of Love than this pile of trash. There's nothing good or redeeming about this show and yet people flock to watch it. I guess it's the perfect cure for insomnia or something along those lines. Trebek sucks, the set is so horrific it's beyond compare and it's not even worth mentioning anymore. Oh, and if you though I was serious throughout all of this...
APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jeopardy is a great show, and the show itself will never be inducted here. I hope you enjoyed the April Fools induction. |
